On Being Bicoastal

Tracking my latest flight from Vancouver to NYC.

Last spring, before I headed out to Ottawa for a summer internship, Peter and I had a house cooling party. We had never had a house warming because he'd already lived in his place for a number of years when I moved in. But a house cooling felt appropriate because--according to the plan at the time--when I came back from Ottawa, he'd have already moved to NYC for grad school. I'd be moving when I got back because the place was going to be sold, so we were effectively preparing to close up our home together.

We'd done long-distance before--the year I'd lived in France, or his tours with bands--so I wasn't worried about it. Also, with me writing my master's thesis and he just starting grad school 7 years after graduating undergrad, maybe some distance would allow each of us to concentrate. 

Last summer, Peter visited me in Ottawa, then he was playing Osheaga in Montreal and we had a fun time hanging out there. Before returning to Vancouver, I visited him in New York over the Labour Day weekend. We next saw each other for his birthday (conveniently close to the Remembrance Day holiday) in November. He was then home for a generous six-week Christmas break.

It's been hard, but we text and talk or facetime every day. I think the saddest I felt was for a moment, when we said goodbye after he had visited over his spring break for my birthday. Then in a split second, thinking about when I'd next see him, I realized it would be in three weeks in Mexico City! That was honestly the best realization: that we didn't have to visit each other in our cities, but that we could choose to meet anywhere.

I've been in New York now for nearly two weeks now. Newly graduated and job searching, it's nice that I can do that from anywhere, including New York, thanks to technology. I'm looking for opportunities pretty much anywhere, in an attempt to get closer, but we may end up being bicoastal for at least another year.